Image that states Constance Laymon All Rights Reserved

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constance@spamcop.net

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a close up photo of my ex-boyfriend Brian(2) and I looking at the camera

Brian(2) and I:  1990 . . . I met Brian through my friend Mark . . . we were "friends" and just spent time together in the very beginning . . . his (ex-)girlfriend Susie moved out a few weeks previous, taking their son with her, though I guess she moved in and out often . . . a few weeks after meeting Brian, he and Susie got into a brawl in his trailer . . . windows and stuff broken and wrestling around, pummeling each other . . . okay:  red flags are bright red when you're looking over your shoulder at them in the distance.  At the time I met a nice guy going through rough times . . . hindsight is a rape of temporality, or at the very least, is irrational and energy consuming . . . the only change anyone can make would be now:  oops it's gone . . . our now is the only interactive state of temporality but it's so transient, so immanent and temporary that past, present, future become a totalized hybrid with the cultural implications that as a whole, there are choices, control, agency . . .

"If it be [now], / 'tis not  to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if / it be not now, yet it [will] come -- the readinesss is all."

William Shakespeare:  "Hamlet", Act V, Scene ii.

a photo of me sitting at my table with these  big blue elbow protectors on . . . I'm looking hagard

May 1990:  I was pretty sick . . . I spent the day over at my doctor's office and the hospital because I had a cellulitis infection in my elbow . . . they sent me home with antibiotics and these ridiculous blue egg-crate elbow protectors . . . I spiked a temperature in the middle of the night and ended up in the hospital for ten days of antibiotics . . . back then my medications fit into a small basket . . .

a photo of me flexing my muscles with the elbow protectors straped to my shouders

Brian(2) found other uses for the inefficient elbow protectors like giving me big blue biceps . . . if you look closely at the left elbow you can see the dressing and swelling from the infection . . .

a photo of Brian(2) with the elbow protectors stuffed into his shirt like breasts

Perhaps the most creative use of the elbow protectors . . . dysfunction aside:  Bian was really fun.

a weird unclear photo of a lumpy pustule on my arm

The surreal image of the abscess I had to have a doctor lance 3/9/00 after a cellulitis infection  of  my hand / wrist after a contaminated blood draw . . . if there must be blame and / or fault, I am responsible . . . I saw the nurse unsheath the needle, setting it down on the encounter form, then picking it up to jab me with the unsterile needle . . . I know better . . . I have no idea why I didn't stop her . . .

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